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Thread: Alonso goes Gomer

  1. #31
    El Crapador Rus'L's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by LongShanx View Post
    Did you hear what Diffey said during the broadcast? He said Fab Five Freddy WILL try his shitzenwagen on early, at their upcoming Alabama crapfest. Freddy sounded positively enthused about getting into that bonegrinder.
    He is NOT driving at Barber. Diffey even said he's not driving. As did Alonso.

    Alonso is going to Barber to meet the team and get a feel for the IndyCrap paddock. Alonso will not be in a car till practice opens for the 500.
    "I was once a supporter of the original IRL concept. Unfortunately, I fell for one of the biggest cons racing has ever seen." -- a TrackForum diehard.

  2. #32
    Crapaholic Leo's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by crapenstien View Post
    Wait until he gets in a crapwagon, It's going to be "I've never raced such a crappy handling under powered car in my life."
    ...and I guess that according to Jenna Fryer, Alonso won't be participating in the Rookie Orientation Program, either. The ROP takes place on Monday, May 15th...the day after the Spanish Grand Prix.

    So I reckon he won't be experiencing "the far side of 220MPH" other than during one "familiarization test" with AA and Honda, according to RACER.com. But IIRC, didn't even Mansell and Piquet have to pass ROP back in the 90s before they were cleared to run Indy?

    Freakin' Alonso has not a clue what he's getting himself into with these attention-starved Hoosier circle jerks, does he?


    PS: Oh, and Jenna...IndyCrap does not have any "nice momentum right now." Or have you not noticed that the first two hIRL races this season have fallen into the Nielsen dumpster and that Indy itself is coming off a TV rating that in its much-vaunted "100th running" tied for its second-worst in television history?

    If it weren't for the hometown viewers, it would have tied for the worst-ever. So lay off the fantasy, will ya?
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  3. #33
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    They were really plugging that Alonso was going to be at their Alabama race. Guess they couldn't get the Ferris Wheel rented so they have the Ferd and pony show. Face it .1rl, the biggest thing about your biggest race for your biggest fans is a tenderloin sammich.
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  4. #34
    Crapaholic Leo's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by frenzy88 View Post
    They were really plugging that Alonso was going to be at their Alabama race. Guess they couldn't get the Ferris Wheel rented so they have the Ferd and pony show. Face it .1rl, the biggest thing about your biggest race for your biggest fans is a tenderloin sammich.
    Not much more than a shallow publicity stunt for Skid Mark Miles,is it? Isn't there still some egg on his face from IndyHunnert and its stellar national Nielsen rating of 3.8 last year?

    It's not as if this spring's NandoMania is actually a bonafide attempt to win Indy, is it? After all, he's with Yendretti...who had four cars at LB and not one of them finished the race. In fact, they finished 17th, 18th, 19th and 20th. The only crapwagoneer who was more inept was Charlie Kimball, who crashed on Lap One and finished dead last. All Alonso wants to do is make something out of this season since he's no longer a contender for the F1 championship, so why not try Indy? Since McLaren wants to keep him for the future, they're willing to go along with whatever he wants.

    But did FA make a valid commitment to IndyCrap like Mansell did to CART? Nope. Is Andretti Autosport 2017 the equivalent of Newman-Haas 1993? Uh-uh. How about CART's popularity back in 1992 while Nigel was winning the Formula One championship...versus that of IndyCrap at the 100th running of the Indy 500?

    Well, that would be a Nielsen final for the 1992 Indianapolis 500 of 10.9 ...while last year's Brickyard Farce nabbed that outstanding rating of 3.8 for IndyCrap. So I ask...why all the comparisons to Mansell Mania, fer chrissakes? Isn't there a more appropriate matchup here?

    How about Nelson Piquet's first appearance at the Speedway back in 1992? Granted...NP was a three-time World Driving Champion whereas Alonso has two WDCs thus far. And Piquet won his last F1 race the year before at Montreal; by the time FA gets to the IMS, it will have been four years since his last Formula One victory.

    But did the CART boys need the hoopla of a former F1 champ to boost their TV numbers for Indy? Apparently not...since the aforementioned 10.9 Nielsen final was achieved with Piquet on the sidelines, having suffered foot injuries during a practice run. The Idiot Grandson wasn't desperate for attention back then...all he needed to do was unlock the gates and keep the place neat and tidy. And his later problems with the falling attendances and TV ratings were self-inflicted, which of course lead to lost revenues and the subsequent destruction of the Month of May and the "Greatest Spectacle in Racing".

    So, yeah...Miles is desperate these days, and just like the Rodeo Clown, he's bending the rules to get the attention of the casual fan in order to bring them back. So do you want the "carnage" that Randy Bernard and several IndyCrap drivers promised for Las Vegas in 2011? Is that what you're looking for, you know-nothing dickhead?

    Alonso's brash words about running "the far side of 220MPH" without any oval experience thus far shows he's a bonafide idiot. Or does he not know of Mansell's cracked vertebrae and Piquet's mangled feet and ankles in their first experiences on an oval?

    Yeah, Fernando...no ROP for you. And you think swapping a McLaren Honda for an HPD powerplant prepped by an F1 idiot like Yendretti is gonna change your fortunes, eh?

    Good luck to you, sir. You're gonna need all the help you can get.
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  5. #35
    Supreme Crapster tux crapper's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Freddy's new motto:


  6. #36
    El Crapador Rus'L's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    ...and I guess that according to Jenna Fryer, Alonso won't be participating in the Rookie Orientation Program, either. The ROP takes place on Monday, May 15th...the day after the Spanish Grand Prix.

    So I reckon he won't be experiencing "the far side of 220MPH" other than during one "familiarization test" with AA and Honda, according to RACER.com. But IIRC, didn't even Mansell and Piquet have to pass ROP back in the 90s before they were cleared to run Indy?
    Everyone still has to pass the rookie test. But, you don't have to do it during the official ROP. You can do it during regular practice when the track is relatively clear.
    "I was once a supporter of the original IRL concept. Unfortunately, I fell for one of the biggest cons racing has ever seen." -- a TrackForum diehard.

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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by Rus'L View Post
    Everyone still has to pass the rookie test. But, you don't have to do it during the official ROP. You can do it during regular practice when the track is relatively clear.
    Then again, I remember this from the CART Invasion year of 2001:

    From Motorsport.com (4/14/2001):
    Helio Castroneves, driving for Team Penske, posted the fastest lap of the day, 41.020 seconds, 219.404 mph. Although Castroneves is a rookie at Indianapolis, he is a veteran on the CART circuit, so he was not required to take the rookie test.
    I always remember ROP as a number of sets of 10 laps at certain speeds, judged by specified individuals as to the driver's stability and quality of execution at those speeds. It's why they held the ROP on specific days in the Month of May calendar. And remember the Idiot Grandson's whining about CART scheduling races in the first year of the "Split" specifically to interfere with the 1996 Indy ROP so its drivers couldn't participate?

    Guess the "Month of May" ain't as tightly scheduled as it once was. And I have to wonder if Alonso's "ROP" is a bonfide test or if it isn't some bullshit "familiarization test" as RACER.com describes it. Who knows, eh?
    "I'm on a track and I'm traveling so fast.
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  8. #38
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    Guess the "Month of May" ain't as tightly scheduled as it once was.
    Actually Leo, it must be more tightly scheduled, because the "Month of May", which refers to the schedule for the Indianapolis 500 (as opposed to the Indianapolis GrandPrix) is now only two weeks long. Which, IIRC is what some were proposing back in the day that caused the idiot grandson to start the IRL. STG!

  9. #39
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by ohio_ccws View Post
    Actually Leo, it must be more tightly scheduled, because the "Month of May", which refers to the schedule for the Indianapolis 500 (as opposed to the Indianapolis GrandPrix) is now only two weeks long. Which, IIRC is what some were proposing back in the day that caused the idiot grandson to start the IRL. STG!
    Yes, that's the part I like best. The gomers complained that some teams wanted to do away with some of the traditions they hold so dear. But then the .1rl actually did away with some of that, but that seemed OK to them. Sucks to be them.
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by frenzy88 View Post
    Yes, that's the part I like best. The gomers complained that some teams wanted to do away with some of the traditions they hold so dear. But then the .1rl actually did away with some of that, but that seemed OK to them. Sucks to be them.
    Therein lies the problem with the gomerati. They are more of a cult who still cling to the long gone notion that Indianapolis is the racing center of the universe and the world stops for the 497.5. So when their esteemed leader (in their eyes, everyone else knows he is a bumbling fool) makes a move, it's golden in their eyes. Doesn't matter if others had the same idea before, FTG is the one that can make it successful.

    Maybe we need to start a gomer deprogramming business. I think the best start is to show them pictures from 1995 and the TV numbers. The semi-intelligent ones will know right there that the emperor has no clothes. Might need to elevate to shock treatments for depender and wilke though....

  11. #41
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Stooooopid Gomers
    Champ Car rocked the world and died a sorry death at the hands of the BIG GIANT FEMININE HYGENE BAG trifecta... FTG FKK and anyone else that believes in this Shyte called SPindy Crap Razin'.... Wake up Morons...It ain't racing

  12. #42
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by Rus'L View Post
    He is NOT driving at Barber. Diffey even said he's not driving. As did Alonso.

    Alonso is going to Barber to meet the team and get a feel for the IndyCrap paddock. Alonso will not be in a car till practice opens for the 500.
    I now live in northeast Alabama,and have been here for the past 6 years.The first few years the crapwagons were here I saw a few mentions of the results on the local news programs.
    The past year there was nothing at all mentioned.Nothing.

    I was stunned when I just read that the Barber race was this weekend.
    I get two half-assed local papers and I have not seen a single advertisement for the race.I am less that one hour from Huntsville Alabama,and less than 90 minutes from Birmingham Alabama.There has not been one single advertisement on any TV station that I have seen.These are two of the largest metropolitan areas within two hours of this race.
    It just blows my mind that these nitwits can just ignore the thousands of local people who could be willing to go to this race if they even knew about it.
    This weekend has the all the markings of another ratings bonanza.
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  13. #43
    Crapaholic Leo's Avatar
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by TG=#1 Bozo View Post
    I now live in northeast Alabama,and have been here for the past 6 years.The first few years the crapwagons were here I saw a few mentions of the results on the local news programs.
    The past year there was nothing at all mentioned.Nothing.

    I was stunned when I just read that the Barber race was this weekend.
    I get two half-assed local papers and I have not seen a single advertisement for the race.I am less that one hour from Huntsville Alabama,and less than 90 minutes from Birmingham Alabama.There has not been one single advertisement on any TV station that I have seen.These are two of the largest metropolitan areas within two hours of this race.
    It just blows my mind that these nitwits can just ignore the thousands of local people who could be willing to go to this race if they even knew about it.
    This weekend has the all the markings of another ratings bonanza.
    Then I guess you can't tell us if Dixon was wearing an all-white factory "clean suit" without a primary sponsor on it.

    Can you believe it? NTT DATA was supposedly his associate sponsor for Barber and I guess Indy. And that's it. To this point, there's not a lead sponsor for the #9 crapwagon for this year's version of the Indy-owned Hapless 500. And did I read correctly that three of the four Yendretti Rot-o'-Sport shitmobiles ran Barber without lead sponsors as well?

    Ah...here it is:

    Originally Posted by Gomermoronic:

    He said these are "tough days." Sure seems to suggest that he thinks the sky is falling. I think it's an unrealistic and overly pessimistic point of view.
    And the response from a fellow Gomer:

    The sky has already fallen. Its not going to fall any farther.

    Not being pessimistic or unrealistic. Being very realistic actually. These are very tough days. Only 8 teams left. Only 21 cars that are full-time. At Barber, 7 of the 21 are running around with no primary sponsorship (and no, I don't count the TWO Carpenter cars has having 2 REAL primary sponsors... Fuzzy's is likely giving about 3/4 of the full budget (with most of it for May) for one car and a courtesy paint job for some races with the other car (like yesterday).

    Its a tough day when the defending Indy 500 driver is unsponsored for races during the season. Or when the defending Indy 500 winning team has 3 out of their 4 cars unsponsored at a race before Indy. Or when Scott Dixon, who is a threat to win every race and win the championship every year, has no primary sponsor for the first part of the season (he'll have something for Indy). Or Coyne's team is running around with Sonny's BBQ (not a real sponsor) and the Boy Scouts (ditto) on their 2 cars. That's not healthy. But its totally predictable when your TV ratings are miniscule, and the cost to play in the ICS high (despite the leaders circle check).


    And for additional shits and grins, there's this gem:

    Originally Posted by (again) the Gomermoron:

    21 cars for IC and 15 for lights are very healthy car counts, period.
    Again, the response by the same fellow Gomer:

    No they are not, period.

    Especially when there are only 8 teams TOTAL fielding teams in Indy Car and 5 teams TOTAL fielding cars in Lights. That's bad. And its gotten worse then it was 5-10 years ago.

    Its also why we are going to continue to beg, steal and cheat every year to pull strings to get to 33 whole cars (and that's all) with IMS pulling the strings and literally choosing drivers to fill out the field. You need actual TEAMS to field cars. Some of you think you can just throw cars on the track and you don't need teams to run them. Penske, Andretti and Ganassi I guess can continue to add cars every year. Maybe they'll each have 11 a piece soon.

    That's a joke, period.
    See there? There is more tag-team comedy over in the CrackForum than we know!
    "I'm on a track and I'm traveling so fast.
    Oh for sure I'm crazy..."


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  14. #44
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    Quote Originally Posted by Leo View Post
    Then I guess you can't tell us if Dixon was wearing an all-white factory "clean suit" without a primary sponsor on it.

    Can you believe it? NTT DATA was supposedly his associate sponsor for Barber and I guess Indy. And that's it. To this point, there's not a lead sponsor for the #9 crapwagon for this year's version of the Indy-owned Hapless 500. And did I read correctly that three of the four Yendretti Rot-o'-Sport shitmobiles ran Barber without lead sponsors as well?

    Ah...here it is:



    And the response from a fellow Gomer:





    And for additional shits and grins, there's this gem:



    Again, the response by the same fellow Gomer:



    See there? There is more tag-team comedy over in the CrackForum than we know!

    Who won?
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  15. #45
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    Re: Alonso goes Gomer

    I lifted a post from Crackforum.They have a fella over there that is comedy gold.Team Chevy.

    The money quote is "He never even watched it on TV"


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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigel Red5 View Post
    I'm not sure if he really knew just HOW big The 500 is or How many people do actually follow F1 in this country.From what I"ve seen of COTA and the years he drove at Indy, he realizes how different an American crowd is. Imagine his reaction come Memorial Day weekend, the festival parade, carb day...RACE Day. He said he's going to do it all......

    I'm sure he knows the 500 is huge... otherwise he wouldn't be doing it. But he says he's never even watched it on tv, so I'm not sure he realizes just HOW big it really is. In a way you can never truly realize that until you witness it in person. It's going to be cool to watch him taking it all in. This is the most exciting thing to happen to Indy in some time.
    _____________________________________________
    It does not matter how much money Tony George has,he will always smell like fish.

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